My Greatest Lover.

"... You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes,..."

Song of Solomon 4:9 (New American Standard Bible)

Pastor Cuixian shared this verse on Sunday and it really stunned me. Who am I really? That God's heart would beat faster just because of my single glance at Him? That He would love me and care to know all about me; hurts, joys, excitements, achievements, failures....? That He would forsake even His life for mine...

Who Am I - Casting Crowns

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Trios Hangout

Went to Fish and Co and ate like a huge platter for 2 though there were 3 of us. Trust me! Its enough to feed a football team lor. haa... ok fine! Exaggeration. But Soo Wei was really full to the brim. However did leave a little space at the lower compartment of my nearly bursting tum tum for d' Rochor Dao Hui. HOwever however, there was this queue that really turned me off *Sigh* and I made these girls walked with me from Parklane. *sorry ah* In the end, we decided to head towards Railmall instead. For a cuppa midnight coffee.. Slurps*

Lilian, Siew Chin and Soo Wei

Awaiting our seats. Wanted it on the upper level but NO SEATs... Not too bad on the ground floor actually cos there was a live acoustic band. :)

In celebration for ONE event down! YEAH!

Another Portion of Grace

Mum agreed to come for service today. We went and she was alright. Sat through the whole service though she was a little scared when she saw the crucifixion scene. My heart was just glad and grateful really. Sitting on the pew with mummy and listening to the sermon. How is it ever possible? Din even dare to think about it say 12 years back when I first came to church. It is truely another portion of God's grace as I recount. I don't see wonders in a day but I do see His grace through these years... til now I am still counting on.

1...2....3....4....5...6...7...8...9...

Night out.

Jean, Johann and Joseph at malaysia. :)

From my angel in school.

This is so pretty isn't it? From my angel in school. She left it on my table this morning when I went to fill up my bottle. Thought my angel was Siew Chin but to my surprise, as I screamed 'thank you' over my office cubicle, my angel, Dyan actually replied with a 'you're welcome'. Ha. Now I know who my angel is. :) The card is so pretty. Ah! I totally love it. Thanks Dyan.

If only I could trade...

What Pastor Peter preached today really stirred my heart. The reality of Hell. The reality of Christ coming back again. The reality of one's eternal destiny could either be in heaven or hell. Who say that we would all disappear when we die? From ash we are made, to ash we return. We would still exist just in another state. The reality that we all would need to die ONCE and after which face judgment. These realities shook me today. In the midst of worship, faces after faces came to my mind.... there is so much more that I think that I need to do. So much... yet so little that I could. Each time I share gospel and people reject them, I learn GRACE all over again. I thank God that I have them and I often pray and ask God to extend His grace and mercy to them.

As I was listening to the altar call today, I asked God... what could I trade with Him for my family's salvation? All my fortune? My wretched life? Come to think of it there is so little that I could trade with Him who holds the Universe in the palm of His hands. In my helplessness I broke down. Cos I realised there is nothing... nothing at all that I could trade to gain the salvations of my loved ones. In Christ alone, I place my trust.

The truth about Hell:
1. A place where fire never stops burning
2. Worm never dies
3. Place of God's judgement
4. Where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth (a place of regret and hopelessness)
5. A place originally prepared for the devil and his angels
6. A place for those whose names are not in the Book of Life.

Today I learnt that the word "hell" only appears 14 times in the whole New Testament. But the word "heaven" appears 220 times in the bible. Which is mentioned more? "Heaven" isn't it? That's God's desire! Our eternal destination.

I don't want to be alone there. I want you with me.

Leadership

Am currently reading the book, "Christian Coaching" by Gary R. Collins, PHD. and today, this was my take home.

"Leadership Is Action, Not Position.
... It's possible to be a leader even without an office, an assistant, a public platform, a title or a position..."

Supposed Kelong Trip

Gone Fishing.
Getting ready our equipments.

Say Cheese!
Lionel whining at the background on why he is not in the pic...

Was kinda looking forward to a nice Kelong trip this hols but then had to cancel it after much consideration. Anyway, headed down to Bedok Jetty instead and we still managed to fish. It was quite exciting for a first-timer as I held on to the rod and reel up my first little whitish sea creature.

Soon, Esther, Lionel and Jeanie all had their turns. We were happy fishermen as we see our pail filled with numerous Kunnings-look-alike. They are not Kunnings btw, just forgot whats their name.

Our catch for the day.

I tried removing the fish from the hooks and also putting them into the pail. Actually, its not too difficult but can be a little scary when they started flipping and flapping on the ground. I am not really good at picking fish up from the ground as yet cos I think they might bite me hahah but have tried holding their tails and that was quite successful til I met one whitish with a flimsy tail.... yeah.. I tore of a part of the tail while I was bringing it up. *sigh* I made it handicapped. Come to think of it. *Pat pat* on my shoulder, I draw the conclusion that fish is not that scary after all. :) Or should I say small fish? haah Anyway, it was fun...loved it when I feel the 'tug" at the end of the line....I've got a FISH!

Went for my little cheap thrill on the bicycle. Thought I would never be able to cycle again after the traumatizing fall when I was 18. Thanks to Esther for her great coaching and encouragement. :) I made it! Though still not really good at braking. haha

Was resting on a beach and overheard a few things:

1. Joseph and mummy...

He first caught my attention cause he looked so much like our Chia Ee. Possibly the little tum tum. Can't help but to notice his nearly bursting T-shirt. Cute. As I watched on, his mummy seemed to be his only playmate there. They had their little discussion on seashells and .... can't really hear the rest. haha but its cute watching them play together. I really wanna blog about this mummy cos she is a no "NO" mummy. If I am accurate in the observations I made, there was not once when she would say "no" to Joseph. Be it sitting on the sand, picking up seashells, walking near the sea to collect seawater .... mummy just watched on. Wow! Why is she not panicky at all? Joseph is probably only a 22/23 month old. I bet he can't even swim. But mummy just lets him do all that he wanted and she watched on.

Can't help but to look back at my own life and started to question why I am so afraid of so many things. Possibly cos Mum and Dad often said no? They said 'no' when I wanted to play Bumper Cars, afraid that I would fly out of it. 'No' to walking near animals,fear that they might bite me. 'No" to cycling, afraid that I would fall. 'No' to mission trips as I might be kidnapped, robbed... etc. 'No' to rollerblades, I must break my back. Well... their restrictions may sound a little absurd but I know its cos they love me. :)

I believe Joseph would grow up being very confident, secure and brave. I guess the greatest empowerment a parent can give to a child is 'observed freedom'. Just watched on...

2. God
"Will you still obey?"


3. Self
Ya... overheard myself speaking, "I should really ruthlessly eliminate hurriedness in my life".

Do nothing but to rest my feet...

Not about the Sun, the food or the fish... its about you guys. Great Companion! :) I had a fabulous day! Hopefully the next RL outing...more could come. Next plan... Bt Timah Hill... let's conquer it.. Ooooooo HOO!

Celebrating with cher...

Jeanie, Esther, Johann, Rachel and Wendy.

The tissue boys.

Jonathan and Jon enjoying the burnt tissue used to cover cher's cake.

Cher's cake on fire.

Eating at bt timah green and yellow coffee shop.

Cheryl and Suhui

Happy birthday Cheryl! :)

Rach and Johann

At El Patio now...

Mum's 55th Birthday

Today, I brought mum for a nice pedicure. I could see that she was happy. Chose a nice classy red for her and I think it suits her totally!!! Joanne - the girl who served mum today found her so cute. Haa.. come to think of it, much as mummy can be exasperating, I think she is rather cute at times. I guess, today, I saw the sincere side of mum. How she would offer sweets to those girls who served her and also offering them her tea. Haahaa.. cute. She would gratefully thank them for the nice job they did and well... today I learn courtesy all over again - from mum.

We then brought mum for a nice din din at Long Beach. Jie and Bil was nice to drive us there after the Pedi. Thank God for them. At about 930pm, mum hit her peak and was a little sleepy. ZzzZZZz.

So fast, the day slip pass me again. Why do time fly past us? Sometimes... I wish for time to stop for a little while. Just a little while more...

As I pray...
I wish that mummy will always be healthy. Arthritis to leave her... rashes to disappear, bitterness to be replaced by Christ's love.... wish that..mummy doesn't grow old... mummy's hand doesn't slip pass mine so soon.... that I would learn to cherish her and have a fabulous time with her for the next 50, 40, 30 years ahead. That she would soon.. SOON SOOON come to know the Lord. Amen.

I wanna...
love her more...
hug her more often....
affirm her of her strengths...
kiss her like how I use to when I was a little girl...

Heart Aches.

Has your heart ever ache before? Mine did today.

With Dad.
Just discovered how hardened he is as we continue our 'tug-of-war' on religion issue. Just like my Chilehli. It died again. What kind of soil is that that not a sprout would last for a week? Nevermind Soo Wei, continue sowing.

Worse came...
Spoke to a mother in distress and my heart really ached with her as I hear her speak. She was crying throughout the conversation. Though we have never met before but each time we spoke, I could feel a part of her sadness. She shares of her rebellious child, her helplessness and despair. I asked myself, "what would I do , if I am in her shoes?" Its such a constant, in fact, daily battle. GOsh how draining and tired is that for her? In fact, for many others out there I think, most with the same fate. Look around and we could possibly see with our spiritual eyes that there many parents weeping in their pews on Sundays for their children.

May the Lord brings comfort...