Monday, August 07, 2006

I'm holding on to you.

Just a week after the retreat, the Lord showed me a vision which somehow comforted me then and prepares me for now. During worship, I saw myself sinking and crying out, "Jesus rescue me!". I often pray this when I'm faced with situations that I can't solve and feel that things are simply beyond my every human means to make it any better. This prayer was made more often in these couple of years.

When I saw the vision, I was comforted but yet ladened. It seemed to tell me that the worse is yet to come. As I made that prayer in my vision, Jesus did not rescue me. Neither did He pull me out of the 'pit' as I would desperately wanted Him to. Instead, I saw the hand of God and heard, "I'm holding on to you." That very statement meant alot to me cos it comforted me to know that GOd is with me even at times when I can't even see or feel His mighty hands.

I believe everyone has their crosses to bear. Jesus had His and mine is this. No one can carry it on my behalf cos its mine and it would be one which I should consider it pure joy as I face it. Cos its this that would allow me to be more mature and complete as I walk it through with the Lord. If I have a choice I'd rather not carry it, however, over the years, I have learnt to welcome it cos such process is also part of God's plan. If God works for the good of those who loves HIm then what I really need to do is simply to trust and hope in Him for that good which I would need to see with eyes of faith. Frankly, thats how I grew in my worship to God as I no longer worship Him for the gifts but worship Him as the giver; worship Him for who He is, simply God.





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